A Cup of Milk

Brothers!

Around the time my firstborn turned one, the whispers started.

Every mom who has chosen to breastfeed, especially if she’s succeeded in avoiding formula for any length of time, is familiar with those whispers. When are you going to wean? Why don’t you let me give him a bottle? You’re spoiling him. You’re going to be breastfeeding him to sleep in college.

Those reasons start much earlier than a year, of course, for many moms. Some start hearing them when baby is a few months or even weeks old. I, however, made it clear from the get-go that breastfeeding was the way for me, and I wasn’t interested in any encouragement to switch to formula.

That, and I chose my friends carefully. A good support network is a big part of breastfeeding success, after all.

Anyway, I pointedly ignored those whispers. I steadfastly remained on the course of self-weaning, and my son nursed until he was four. Shortly after that birthday, he finally stopped asking to nurse at bedtime. It was bittersweet, but the time was right for both of us.

A few months later, I got pregnant again.

It was planned. But still, I only got to enjoy a few months of having my body completely myself before a baby took up residence in my womb, and I only had about a year before the breastfeeding grind began anew.

My older son, of course, still remembered breastfeeding. And while he understood that my body wasn’t producing milk for him anymore, he was very curious about my plans to nurse our new baby. It wasn’t long before he asked if he would be able to start nursing again, too.

If I had milk again, he reasoned, why not? He loved mommy milk. He wanted his baby brother or sister to share!

The first time he asked, I smiled fondly and told him that my body would be making milk for baby, and that I wouldn’t have enough to share. (This was a lie; I knew I’d likely overproduce at first.) When he asked again in the future--and he asked frequently--I offered other excuses. Baby would need it all (also a lie). He’d gone for so long without nursing that he probably wouldn’t remember how (possibly true, but I was uninterested in testing the theory). He was “too old” for mommy milk (most people in the US would say truth, but other cultures might disagree).

I avoided the real reasons why I did not want my older boy to start nursing again. I was not interested in tandem nursing two children so far apart in age (truth). I did not want to maintain an oversupply (truth). Water was a perfectly healthy beverage for him (truth). And, after a year of not nursing him, I was admittedly a little uncomfortable at the idea of nursing a five-year-old (truth--but props to the full-term breastfeeding mamas out there who nurse to five or beyond!).

I managed to deflect my son well enough early on that the questions stopped coming for awhile. But once I received my breast pump--a month or so before the baby’s birth--the issue came back. My son was intrigued by the pump, fascinated that a machine could extract mommy milk so that baby could drink it when I wasn’t there to feed him directly. He understood bottles in theory, of course, but I never used bottles with him; he always drank straight from the source, as it were.

After a few more rounds of questions and deflections, I finally hit upon a new idea. I had a pump. I could pump milk. I could put pumped milk in a bottle… or a cup.

So I told my son that sometime after the baby was born, perhaps I would give him some of my pumped milk to drink in a cup. Deflection: successful.

My husband, when he heard this conversation, was mildly horrified I think, although he’s used to me and my crunchy ways and he did his best to go with it. He simply inserted himself into our discussion to make sure our son knew that first, this--the sharing of mommy milk--would not be a regular occurrence, and second, it’d likely only happen at home. Two points I wholeheartedly agreed with.

I may be a bit on the natural side, but as I mentioned before, I was not particularly keen on getting my older boy hooked on “the good stuff” again. That was a phase of his life that was over, and I really wanted it to stay over. One nursling at a time for me, thank you very much.

Liquid gold

And then baby came. I pumped almost exclusively at first, as baby had to stay in the hospital for awhile after birth. And it wasn’t long before the question came. He asked me if he could have some mommy milk.

I put him off at first. I told him I needed to save every drop for the baby, who was still in the NICU and needed milk to grow. But eventually, I gave in. After one pumping session, I emptied one of the bottles into a bag to freeze and later take to the hospital. And I emptied the other bottle into his blue cup, which I offered to my then-five-year-old.

He took a sip, grinned at me, and said “Mmmmm!” Then he put it down and scampered off to play with his grandma.

He never came back for the rest of the milk in that cup.

Look at that freezer stash!

It was with a sad smile that I eventually dumped those five or so ounces down the drain. After all the questions, all the haranguing, after the insistence that he still loved mommy milk and wanted to share in his little brother’s bounty, it turns out that my big boy just wasn’t that interested anymore. For a preschooler, mommy milk just couldn’t compare with the other adventures that life holds.

*****

I know a lot of women do genuinely worry that their babies will never want to wean. They worry that baby will be nursing forever. They believe that they’ll eventually have to force the issue. Sooner or later, we’ll just have to start saying no. Right? Our babies will surely never say no on their own.

I understand that self-weaning isn’t for everyone. Some women have to wean because of life circumstances. It might be because of a job, or because of an illness, or perhaps because of a custody situation. Others choose to wean at a certain age for reasons that may be more or less defined. They’re not enjoying breastfeeding. They’re ready to be done.

No one needs to define those reasons if they don’t want to. Breastfeeding is a relationship between mommy and baby, and it has to work for both parties. And if it’s not working, well, you don’t need to justify your decision.

That being said, don’t ever let anyone tell you that your child will never wean.

My new baby recently turned one, and I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before the whispers start again. And when they do, I can pull out this story of my older son and our journey to self-weaning. I can’t speak for every baby, of course, but self-weaning turned out just fine for us the first time around. I have no doubt this baby will eventually wean on his own, too.

My older son never did ask what happened to his cup of mommy milk. He never missed it when it disappeared. And he never asked again about sharing.

Review: The Pediatrician's Guide to Feeding Babies & Toddlers

Many parents don’t realize just how complicated feeding young kids can be until they have a baby of their own. When should babies start solid foods? What are the best early foods? How do we minimize the risk of developing allergies?



These questions and many more are answered in The Pediatrician’s Guide to Feeding Babies & Toddlers, a compact guidebook written by a team headed by Anthony Porto and featuring pediatricians, dietitians, a lactation consultant, and a recipe developer.

This friendly, well-written book is divided into six main sections. The first five sections focus on particular time frames of child development—0-3 months, 4-6 months, 7-8 months, 9-12 months, and toddlers—while the sixth condenses many common medical concerns and questions into one concise chapter. Each developmental section talks about the basics of physical and cognitive development, answers some pointed questions, and gives guidelines for how much babies are generally eating. Each also offers a selection of recipes perfect for growing babies (or, in the case of the first section, perfect for lactating mamas and sleep-deprived new parents).

The first section, which focuses on the first three months, discusses both breastfeeding and formula-feeding relatively in-depth. While the authors make no secret of the fact that breastfeeding is the best option when possible, they also provide plenty of unbiased, non-judgmental information about using formula for families who need or choose to use it.

The second section is all about early solids, while the next few walk parents through the various stages of purees and finger foods that follow. While a number of readers will disagree with the book’s taciturn acceptance of starting solids as early as at four months old, this section and the ones following it are, overall, a well-balanced approach to the standard method of introducing a baby to solid foods. Parents will get advice on different stages of purees, including advice on making them at home, and every possible question is answered, including how to introduce them, what to look for when it comes to allergies, and even avoiding choking.

There is solid and standard nutritional information throughout, including nutrient guidelines and calories. Parents will love the recipes, which include simple single foods, intriguing blends, finger foods, and dishes for toddlers that the whole family will find themselves enjoying. These aren’t bland foods, either; the recipes are rich in complex flavors and spices that will get youngsters excited about “real” foods.

The final section really tackles the biggest medical concerns. While some of this information is discussed to varying degrees in other sections, parents who want to know more about constipation, eosinophilic esophagitis, reflux, celiac disease and gluten intolerance, allergies, and more will find their answers right here. There are also growth charts—both CDC and WHO—reference charts for avoiding allergies, and tables listing the RDAs of various nutrients for the different age groups.

There are some other elements of this book that some readers may disagree with, such as authors’ discomfort with baby-led weaning, their advice to seek a nutritionist before raising baby on “special” diets such as vegetarianism or paleo, and their stock-standard advice to start baby off with grains like oatmeal or rice, which many in natural parenting circles feel is harmful to the developing gut. Other readers may feel that a book like this only encourages the paranoia that for many surrounds baby feeding; introducing a baby to solids doesn’t need to be this complicated!

Still, the fact is that most parents do have a lot of questions about how to get their baby started with “real” foods, and The Pediatrician’s Guide to Feeding Babies & Toddlers does an admirable job of coming to the rescue. Readers will be reassured by the wide range of experience of the authors—all of whom are parents, too—and will enjoy the friendly tone and straightforward information. This is a practical book that many will learn a lot from.

*****

I received this book from Blogging for Books in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed within are completely my own.

Review: Punderdome

Puns are a way of life. For some people, anyway.

For some of us, the puns just flow. Puns about food, puns about jobs, puns about current events. If you fall into this category of people, a game like Punderdome is right up your alley.

This game is literally all about puns. Making them, laughing at them, judging which of them is funniest. The game play goes in rounds, with the person leading the round--the Prompter--changing each turn.Each round starts with a Quick Pun, which is simple Q&A style pun: "Why did Mozart and Bach get in trouble in school?" While a sample answer is provided ("They were caught passing notes."), players might be able to come up with something more creative.

The centerpiece of each round is the prompt section. The Prompter has two cards which each contain a single-subject prompt: pets, dieting, presidents, farting, putting on a play, facial hair. Each player than has 90 seconds to create a pun linking those two words together. The instructions offer advice for making puns for newbies, and there is also a card that contains examples for those who need an idea of how to combine topics.

So it's a simple game. The real question: is it fun? Heck yes it is! Well, if you're good at puns, it is. Or if you're just good at creative thinking. Or even if you're just opening to working on developing those punny skills. For many, it could very well take a few rounds of gameplay (or alcohol?) to get in the right mindset so that the puns are flowing. For others, this kind of wordplay is easy as pie. But Punderdome has the potential to be lots of fun for anyone who dares to give it a shot.

*****
 
I received this game from Blogging for Books in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed within are completely my own.

Road Trip to Virginia: Days 2 & 3

Evening of Day Three. I think; we're now officially two hours ahead of California time, and my body is oh-so confused about what time it actually is (although I would still much rather handle the time changes gradually like this, rather than have jet lag from moving straight there).

We're approximately halfway there. Three days down, three more to go.

The last two days have been rather slow. To be honest, I had forgotten how boring and, well, desolate some of these long stretches of I-80 can be. Much of Nevada, Utah, and Wyoming are unaccountably dull, especially at this time of year. Everything is dry, the grass is all dead, and there's not really much to see. Maybe we're just driving through the boring parts? I don't know. There were some cool parts. The salt flats are interesting, for a little while. I enjoyed some of the rock formations in Utah. But it seemed like most of what we were passing was endless grassy plains, with occasional softly undulating hills.

It's not like we're interested in doing many tourist-y things anyway, or even stopping any more often than is strictly necessary for bathroom breaks and eating. We do have the cat with us, after all, and while I think he's getting to be a better traveler every time he's forced to make a long trip--he is quiet for long stretches now, and really only meows when we're stopping somewhere--we obviously can't leave him in the car by himself for more than a few minutes at a time. And we can only even do that when it's cool enough outside that we don't have to worry about the car rapidly heating up. (Hint: That was not today.) So the last two days have just been driving, driving, driving.

Here's the seating arrangement: D is driving, because he likes driving, while I'm in the back entertaining Bug, who is in his car seat, while the cat is in his travel carrier on the other backseat. We did our best to travel light this time around; with every move, I get better at figuring out what's actually essential for the drive and the first few days in a new place (since it'll likely be a few days before our pod with all our other belongings can be delivered to our new home, once we have a new home). So the trunk is full, but not so full that we're dependent on the mirrors to see what's going on around the car. There are blankets shoved under the cat carrier, and my leg room is severely impeded by my purse and the bag of books/coloring books/activities that I am using to entertain Gregory.

Not surprisingly, the front seat is also being used to hold stuff, mainly food-type stuff. Our current car is a 2014, and it's got all sorts of newfangled safety features, including some kind of weight sensor in the passenger seat that tells the car whether or not to turn on the passenger airbag while also causing the car to beep incessantly if the passenger seat belt is not buckled. We discovered yesterday that we are just shy of that weight limit. Every now and then, if we go over a bump wrong, the car starts beeping at us, and D has to rearrange the things on the seat to convince the car that there is not, in fact, an unbuckled passenger in that seat. And when I say we're almost at the weight limit, I'm not kidding; if D so much as puts his phone on the seat, it starts beeping. It's ridiculous. I'm sure there's some way to turn it off (or maybe we should just buckle the darn seat belt), but we don't have the time or energy to figure it out by the time we reach our hotel every night.

By the way, Bug seems to (hopefullycrossyourfingerspleaseplease) be over his stomach issues. His appetite still isn't 100%, but his energy is high, his mood is cheerful, and there's been no sign of vomit for the past two days. (In case you're wondering, though, we did buy a puke-catcher-bin after the last incident, just in case). All is progressing normally.

Food. We've been eating breakfasts at our hotels, although I've got to say that continental breakfasts are a little boring for me as a vegan... thank goodness plain oatmeal is usually an option! We've been eating PB&J in our hotel rooms in the evenings, to save a little money, so we're really only eating out for lunch. Today was fairly decent Mexican food at a little restaurant in Sidney, Nebraska (I had veggie enchiladas, packed with veggies and beans and sans cheese, of course), while D and Bug had burritos. Yesterday, though... yesterday, we stopped at a hole-in-the-wall sandwich joint in Salt Lake City called Buds, which we found through Happy Cow (in case you've never heard of it, it's a website--and app--that helps you locate vegetarian/vegan/veg-friendly restaurants wherever you are). And oh my goodness. I had a vegan "cheesesteak" sandwich, with some kind of sliced/seasoned faux meat (which, if you know me, isn't normally my thing, but I do make exceptions on occasion) and an amazing cheesy sauce on thick, crusty bread. SO GOOD.

And now we're in Nebraska. For some reason, one my last road trip to this area, I remember Nebraska as being the most boring state ever, but this time around it's actually refreshingly pretty compared to the last few states. There are trees--trees!--and bodies of water and interesting landscapes. And now we're halfway through! Today was an easier, shorter day, but tomorrow we'll be putting our noses back to the grindstone.

Road Trip to Virginia: Day 1

Day 1. ~490 miles.

For those of you not in the know, the family and I embarked today on a cross-country drive; D has new orders, and we're moving to Virginia.

So today was the first real day of our road trip. We left amidst a light drizzle, the first real rain I've seen so far this autumn. The morning was uneventful; a fair amount of real rain, not much traffic, a straightforward drive. Bug, who has been recovering from an inconvenient and unpleasant stomach ailment, started getting sleepy as the morning progressed. We got Starbucks, we stopped for gas. I played games and colored with Bug, I let him watch a few cartoons on D's phone (thank goodness for data), and he eventually drifted off into a nap.

When we stopped for lunch at Chipotle, Bug woke up. Since we have our poor fraidy cat with us, the plan was that D would go in and quickly eat first, then Bug and I would go in while D waited in the car with the cat; But and I both eat a lot slower, and that'd give D a nice, quiet break while we ate. Of course, D made it barely five steps from the car before Bug let out an alarming burp, and then proceeded to vomit into my hands (I have ninja reflexes, so I caught the bulk of it). Many paper towels and some clean clothes later (honestly, more ended up on me than on Bug, and thankfully only a little ended up on the car seat), we were finally able to eat. Fortunately, I don't think this was any kind of major setback in Bug's stomach thing, as he bounced back immediately: sparkly eyes, goofy sense of humor, and appetite were all restored pretty much instantaneously upon emptying his stomach.

After that, we bought a vomit-catching-bin (just in case), and D opted to drive the rest of the way so that I could stay back with Bug. But that one incident was pretty much the most exciting (not in a good way) part of our day. More rain, off and on. The discovery that we had left Bug's stuffed animal at Grandma & Grandpa's house, where we had slept the night before. Occasional unhappy moans from the cat. Bathroom breaks. Boring, dreary Nevada landscapes. More coloring, a little reading.

We saw a rainbow!

Ultimately, we made it to Elko, Nevada, for the night. Upon entering our hotel room, the cat promptly hid under the blankets of the closest bed while I made peanut butter sandwiches for dinner. It had been a long day, so it wasn't long after that that Bug had his bath (not optional tonight), listened to a few chapters of his current book (The Dragon Prophecy by Geronimo Stilton), and crawled into bed, where he fell asleep quickly.

Smart idea. Tomorrow is another long day...

Off-the-Wall ABCs

A recent conversation with Bug:

Bug:  Mama, what sound does the letter 'K' make?
Me:   Kah. 'K' makes the "kah" sound. Like 'kangaroo.'
Bug:  Kangaroo?
Me:   Or king, or koala, or kindness, or kudzu, or... kamikaze? Kefir? Kwanzaa?

As you can see, I have a problem. And with a four-year-old who is diligently practicing his alphabet skills every chance he gets, it's a problem I deal with on a near daily basis. It's not a big problem by most standards, but it's definitely a problem.

My problem is that when faced when the task of giving my son words that start with a given letter, my mind kind of blanks. And when it doesn't go blank altogether, it goes in weird directions instead.

Most people, when asked for 'G' words, would head for gorilla. Goat. Good. Giant. Nice, normal words. Me? My brain goes straight to Gorgonzola, gangrene, Geonosis, or Gollum. J is for jaguar, jungle, jack-in-the-box, jellyfish. Or jugular or juxtaposition, Judas or jinx, Jabberwocky or jackalope. (Or Jack Daniels. Definitely inappropriate.) C is for cat or cheese, cheetah or chimpanzee. C is also for cantrip, canasta, cancer, contrarian. F is for farm, family, friend. F is for flatulence, fandango, Fallopian tubes, flagellate, (the) Forsaken.

(Disclaimer: These words don't all make it from my brain to my lips. Obviously.)

A is for ant, alligator, amphibian, allopathic, agoraphobia, amnesia, androgynous, algorithm...

Honestly, I don't really know what's going on with my brain sometimes. Is this a side effect of reading too much? (Not that such a thing is truly possible!) Is this because I have strange interests and a rather morbid fascination with certain unpleasant subjects? Is this the result of four years of not quite enough sleep? (Because even when kids finally start sleeping better, parents don't... or maybe that's just me.)

Am I just plain weird?

Whatever it is, it really does come up all the time. Sometimes, Bug wants me to make up my own words to alphabet books. Normally, that task belongs to D, but since he's away for the foreseeable future, the task instead falls to me. As you can see, I have a strangely difficult time coming up with decent nouns for every letter.

Or sometimes he asks for more words when he's doing his workbooks (definitely not trying to push early academics in this household, but Bug LOVES workbooks! And I'm all for encouraging whatever he's interested in), or when he just sees random letters on the walls (thanks, DMV and military hospital pharmacy). Sometimes when we're in the car, he'll ask for letter sounds and words. Sometimes Bug just likes copying letters from books, and will ask me for sounds and words as he goes.

No matter the situation, I find that my mental lapses happen pretty much every time Bug asks for words beginning with a certain letter. And as of now, I have no solution, except to at least keep my filters intact and keep the inappropriate words to myself, along with the words that will spark questions I'm currently unwilling to answer and the words I just don't want Bug repeating.

At least my kid will have a good vocabulary. Right?

All About CSAs

Many, many years ago, I joined my first community supported agriculture (CSA) program. I was pretty new to the idea, but I loved the thought of getting veggies and fruits from a small, local farm. I've been a vegetarian for a long time, so getting boxes of fresh produce every week seemed like a smart idea.

So what exactly is it? CSA stands for community supported agriculture. In a CSA program, you are essentially buying a short-term share of the farm. Members pledge up front to support the farm financially for a certain period of time, and in return they receive a weekly "dividend" of locally-grown, freshly-harvested produce. The farm, on the other hand, gets capital up front to pay for plants/seeds, fertilizer, water, and other farm needs. It's a win-win situation.

People join a CSA for a number of reasons. For many, locally-grown food is a big draw; when your food hasn't traveled very far to get to you, it lessens your overall carbon footprint. Others are interested in eating seasonally. Some are specifically looking for organic goods. Some want to support a small business. Others just want the convenience of having a big box of produce packaged up for them!

Since that first CSA so many years ago, I've been a member of a number of others in various locations throughout the country. If you're considering finding a CSA of your own, there are a number of things to consider during your research.

What do they grow?
Well, they mostly grow vegetables and fruit. But what kinds, specifically? Nowadays, most CSA programs offer a general list on their website of what kinds of produce they grow. Sometimes, this is organized by season: we have apples in the fall, salad greens and citrus fruits in the winter, etc.. Sometimes, it'll be month-by-month, or with some kind of fancy chart listing their "normal" produce down the side, months at the top, and check marks for which months that particular food is usually available. Many have a link on their website (or Facebook page) listing the contents of the current week's box, so you can always check up on that for a few weeks to get an idea of what kinds of crops they have. If they don't list what they grow on their site, be sure to contact the farmer or organizer for more information! Most CSAs send out weekly emails detailing the contents of the box, and farmers are happy to compile a list of prior examples for potential members.

A lot of CSAs pride themselves on offering "unusual" types of produce. CSAs were where I was first introduced to pomegranates, kohlrabi, fennel, jujubees, mulberries, banana squash, and more. Other CSAs prefer to offer more of a "normal" selection: spinach, salad greens, apples, tomatoes, zucchini, green beans, etc. Checking out their offerings ahead of time makes it easier to determine whether or not the things they grow are a good fit for your family.

In addition to vegetables and fruits, some CSAs offer a wide variety of other goodies. Some farms might grow tree nuts and include a bag when in season. Other items I've found in my boxes in the past include dry beans, dry (local!) rice, popcorn kernels, bundles of herbs, herb seedlings to plant at home, even jams and pickles made by the farmer! Farms that offer eggs for sale might give you a free half-dozen when they have a surplus.

In the winter, your CSA just might inundate you with hard squashes.
This is a good problem to have.

Do you like what they grow?
It doesn't do any good to have all those fresh vegetables and fruits in your crisper drawers if many of them are ones your family won't actually eat! Certainly, one of the joys of CSAs is that they might introduce you to new foods and inspire you to try out new ways of cooking ones you're already familiar with. But what if your CSA sends out two or three bags of different salad greens in every box, and your family just doesn't like that much salad? What if you get a dozen oranges per delivery during citrus season, but you can't stand peeling them or having your hands smell like orange for the rest of the day? What if you're allergic to cantaloupe or watermelon or strawberries? What if you just flat-out hate okra? Some CSAs offer a certain amount of customization (and they are much more likely to be amenable to deletions or exchanges if you have food allergies), but most just pack every box with the same contents. If the farm you're looking at grows a lot of things you simply don't like or can't/won't eat, it might not be a good fit for you.

When do they operate?
In some parts of the country, CSA farms operate and offer produce boxes year-round, but in others you might only be able to find spring and summer programs. It totally depends on the climate, the size of the farm, and what all they grow. When considering different farms for CSA membership, be sure to know exactly how their growing schedule meshes with your needs.

How often do they deliver?
Most CSAs offer weekly boxes. Some offer bi-weekly (every other week), which might be a better fit depending on your family's eating habits. Almost all are perfectly happy to let you cancel or skip your box for the week (usually due to vacation), so long as you provide proper notice ahead of time.

How do you actually get your box?
While some CSAs do in fact deliver straight to your door, members usually pay a premium for this service. Much more common is the idea of a drop point or pick-up location. All the boxes for a general area are delivered to one location (sometimes a store or farmers' market, but more often a personal home, usually one with plenty of shade or an accessible garage so that the contents will stay cool and fresh until picked up). Members know when their delivery date is, and the boxes are generally guaranteed to be there by a certain time, so that you can plan for the best time to pick it up. Some CSAs prefer to have these pick-up locations staffed; you will know that your boxes are available on a particular day during a specific time period (usually a few hours), and you are expected to pick it up then.

How often do you pay?
For many small farmers, one of the biggest appeal of having a CSA program is getting money up-front to pay the bills, as it were. Your dues pay for the costs of operating a farm. For this reason, many CSAs require members to pay seasonally or quarterly. At the very least, you can expect to be required to pay monthly; week-to-week is not particularly sustainable for the farmer, and it makes planning and packing boxes hard. Some may offer yearly or bi-yearly (six months at a time) memberships. In general, the price-per-box is less when you pay for longer periods of time up-front.

How much does it cost? And how much do you get for your money?
Some CSAs offer only one size of box, usually enough to feed an average family (4-ish people). Some might offer a smaller box, suitable for a married couple without kids, or larger boxes for larger families. I have even seen "individual" CSA boxes.

Some CSAs will give you the dimensions of the different box sizes, while others might compare them to a standard-size paper grocery bag (or two). Others might instead give an estimated number of items in each week's box.

Encourage your entire family to eat more veggies! Join a CSA today!

Do I have to return the empty box? 
Those cardboard delivery boxes can be expensive, and different CSAs handle delivery boxes in different ways. Some might send the box home with you, but ask that you bring back the empty box from the prior week with each new delivery. If this is the case, they will ask you to do your best to treat the box gently so that it can be reused over and over again.  Others might expect you to transfer your produce to a box or bag of your own on the spot, leaving the initial delivery box behind so that they'll be able to reuse them right away. Your CSA should make it clear from the beginning what their expectations are. (And it is worth your while to obey these directives! When too many boxes are lost or destroyed too quickly, it may drive up your CSA dues in the future.)

Are there add-ons available?
Many small farms also have chickens, and a weekly egg share is a common add-on to many CSA boxes; for an additional fee, you can add a dozen or half dozen eggs to every box, or every other box. Some farms also can provide meat or milk, so be sure to look into this if it interests you! Some might simply offer turkeys at Thanksgiving, while others might have cow-share programs or offer raw dairy (either openly or on the down-low, depending on what the laws are like in your state).

I have been a member of a number of CSAs that offer additional items for an additional fee, paid either ahead of time (they'll come in your next scheduled box) or at the site of pick-up. Perhaps you can get extra bags of blueberries or strawberries when they're in season, or nuts, or local honey. These items might be grown on your CSA farm, or they might be for sale through a collaborative effort with another local farm. If you're interested in preserving, many farms will offer bulk discounts on certain items when they're in season; think of tomatoes for canning, berries for jams, cucumbers for pickling.

Do they offer community events?
Many small farms delight in hosting community events for their members. These may include seasonal potlucks or parties, you-pick style harvest events, family pumpkin patches, or regular farm tours. If you are interested in your membership going beyond just getting your box of goodies every week, then see what kinds of events go on at your farm! These kinds of events may be member-only, while others may be open to others by invitation. Some might even be public events, open to anyone who is interested in checking out the farm.

One CSA I was a member of hosts an annual winter vendor festival, where you can pick up extra produce and holiday gifts at the same time!

Are they certified organic?
For many people interested in CSAs, one of the biggest draws is getting produce that is organic. Many small farms know this. If organic is important to you, it is definitely worth asking about about up front. But it's also important to know that being certified USDA organic by the government is an expensive and time-consuming process. Many small farms might not have the resources to actually be certified, or they might not yet have had the time to work through all the requisite paperwork, but that doesn't necessarily mean they don't use organic practices on their farm. Ask! Most farmers are happy to discuss their farming practices with you. Do they use pesticides? Is it indiscriminately sprayed on everything, or is it a last-resort-type of option? Do they stick to herbicides that are acceptable within organic practices? Do they avoid GMO crops? (For many, this might be one of the biggest reasons to go organic!) Get to know your farmer and they way they manage their fields!

So how do I find one?
Hands down, the best way to find a CSA near you is through Local Harvest. This handy website allows you to search for farms and other sources of local food by zip code or city. You can find basic information about the farm and their CSA program here, as well as reviews; follow through to the farm's own website for more details.

Another great way to find CSA programs near you is to check out the local farmers' market; many small farms will have a weekly market booth, and you can find out information about their CSA and even interview the farmer on the spot, if you desire. And there's always Google, of course; a search for "CSA +yourcity" will no doubt give you some options.

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Have you ever been a member of a CSA? What did you like (or dislike) about it?

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This post is shared at the Happy, Healthy, Green, & Natural Party Blog Hop on 11/16/2015.

Never Stop Learning

Welcome to the August 2015 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Life Learners
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have talked about how they continue learning throughout life and inspire their children to do the same.

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When I was younger, I used to secretly believe that others were judging me for the amount of "formal" education I had completed.

I graduated high school, then I pushed my way through two and a half years of community college. With an associate degree to hang on my wall, I was ready to be done. I was burned out on school. I didn't want to take on gigantic loans in order to complete a four-year degree. I didn't even know what I'd major in if I did keep going. And since I was about to move out of my mama's house and into my own apartment, with my then-boyfriend-now-husband, I knew I would need to devote my time and energy to working and paying the bills.

I was at peace with that decision on a personal level, but since I had so many friends who got a Bachelor's and beyond, and since I worked with so many people who had so much more education than me, I always found myself wondering on some level whether it was really enough. Would people respect me more if I had a higher degree? Would I get paid more? Would it be worth the time, energy, and money to pursue more schooling? Should I go back?

Ultimately, I never did go "back" to school. Well, I'm currently working on a certificate program, but I never went back for a B.A. And I'm not sure that I ever will.

But that doesn't mean I stopped learning.

On the contrary, I think that the most important things I know now are things that I have taught myself in the years since finishing high school and college. (I don't actually remember much of what I learned in school, to be honest... I was always good at writing essays and taking tests, but not at actually retaining information for long-term use.)

Most of the things I pride myself in knowing now are not subjects I set out to learn about. Not formally, anyway. Most of them are, to me, life skills. Things that, as I grew and understood myself better, I realized I needed to know more about in order to become the kind of person I aspired to be. Things that can be taught in a classroom, but that really need to be experienced in real life in order to fully have a handle on.

When I first moved out, I honestly didn't know how to cook. This was despite growing up with a mama who cooked for most of my younger years, despite voluntarily taking a cooking class in high school. Sure, I could bake cookies and pumpkin pie. I could make macaroni and cheese from a box and heat up frozen veggies. I could boil frozen tortellini and dress them with jarred marinara sauce.
But I didn't know how to cook. And I realized that if I wanted to be successful and happy as a vegetarian, I needed to learn how to cook. Real food. And so I did.

My mama is fond of saying that anyone who can read is capable of cooking. And that is so completely true, at least in my experience. I bought cookbooks and found recipes that sounded appealing. I looked up cooking terms on the Internet when I didn't understand them. I got into the kitchen and, by golly, I learned how to cook! Sure, I failed on a number of occasions along the way. I burned things, undercooked things, turned out a few meals that D and I couldn't eat more than a single bite of. But the more I practiced, the better I got. And while I'm certainly no expert chef now, I can cook the kind of food I like and want. And I am relatively confident that I can pick up any new cookbook, any new recipe, and have a good chance of successfully reproducing that meal on my own.

Teaching Bug to knead bread.

For me, that's the way a lot of learning has happened over the years: a willingness to discover new skills + lots of reading and researching on my own time.

When I wanted to learn how to knit, I took a class to help me get the basics down. I followed the class up with lots of practice and a bunch of pattern books. I'm not a particularly talented knitter, but when I have the time (not often, these days), I can follow almost any pattern and produce something workable.

When I decided I wanted to learn how to can things, I bought a book, hit the farmers' market for some produce, and made a few jars of jam. I've burned a batch or two, but I've also become proficient enough that I haven't bought jam from the store for years.

When I wanted to learn more about yoga, I started out with DVDs and books, then eventually graduated to taking live classes. I can practice now at home, on my own, building strength and flexibility on my own schedule, when I need to decompress or just get comfortable in my own skin.

When Bug watches me practice, he usually wants to practice too! Which then encourages me to practice more often!

When I was pregnant, I picked up tons of books to learn how to give birth. After I finally figured out which books were the good ones, I learned the basics but ultimately learned that I'd have to rely on myself, since birth is truly not something you can learn ahead of time (although classes and reading are a great way to prepare yourself!). And when I opened myself to trusting my intuition, I learned that I could, in fact, give birth exactly the way I wanted to. All of my parenting "skills" have been acquired in much the same way: listening to my intuition and reading any and all books that seem to speak to the kind of parent I want to be.

When I wanted to start making Halloween costumes for my son, I went out and bought a sewing machine. I poured over the instruction manual, learned how to read patterns, watched a few videos on YouTube, and eventually turned out a pretty decent costume. Since then, I've made pajama pants for the entire family, and I'm looking forward to some other sewing projects in the future.

These skills have served me so much better than anything I've ever learned in formal school. And I learn more every day, simply by continuing to remain open to new experiences.

This is not to say that there is no value in formal education; there is plenty, and different amounts work for different people. But school is not the only place where learning takes place, and learning doesn't stop once we've got that diploma hanging on the wall. We are so much more than the sum of our degrees and certificates.

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting! Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• The Financial Advice That Saved My Marriage — Shortly after they got married, Emily at Natural Parents Network and her husband visited a financial planner. Many of the goals and priorities they set back then are now irrelevant, but one has stuck with them through all of the employment changes, out-of-state-moves, and child bearing: allowances.
• Lifelong Learning — Survivor at Surviving Mexico--Adventures and Disasters writes about how her family's philosophy of life-long learning has aided them.
• Inspiring Children to be Lifelong Learners — Donna from Eco-Mothering discusses the reasons behind her family's educational choices for their daughter, including a wish list for a lifetime of learning.
• Always Learning — Kellie at Our Mindful Life loves learning, and lately she's undertaken a special project that her family has been enjoying sharing with her.
• We're all unschoolers — Lauren at Hobo Mama embraces the joy in learning for its own sake, and wants to pass that along to her sons as she homeschools.
• My children, my teachers — Stoneageparent shares how becoming a parent has opened doors into learning for her and her family, through home education and forest school.
• Never Stop Learning — Holly at Leaves of Lavender discusses her belief that some of the most important things she knows now are things she's learned since finishing "formal" schooling.
• Learning is a Lifelong Adventure — Learning has changed over time for Life Breath Present, and she is more excited and interested now than ever before.
• Facebook: The Modern Forum — Dionna at Code Name: Mama explains why Facebook is today's forum - a place where people from all walks of life can meet to discuss philosophies, debate ideas, and share information.
• 10 Ways to Learn from Everyday Life (Inspired by my Life in Japan) — Erin at And Now, for Something Completely Different offers tips she learned while living in Japan to help you learn from everyday life.

The Big Three-Oh

How do you celebrate a milestone?

If you're me, you apparently celebrate with yoga.

 

And PiYo. And Starbucks. And delicious vegan food. Housework and park time and reading lots and lots of (picture) books. Copious amounts of tea.

And brownies. Can't forget the brownies.

In short, my birthday was pretty much like any other day. Well, to be fair, I don't drink Starbucks *every* day. And as much as I love brownies, I don't actually make them very often (because I have no self control when it comes to brownies). The point is that I didn't do anything particularly out of the ordinary.

The past decade has been pretty amazing, though. I've accomplished an awful lot. I got married, bought a house, moved out of my home state (in that order). I've lived in at least 5 or 6 different homes (most of them apartments), because I'm apparently incapable of living in the same place for more than two years. I'm currently living in Southern California, where I've lived for the past few years.

I gave birth to a wonderful little boy and breastfed him for three years (and then some).

I got into shape, then got out of shape (I barely exercised for more than two years after my son's birth), then finally got back into shape again.

I refined the way I eat, going from being an essential junk food vegetarian to eating a fully plant-based (and primarily vegan) diet.

I worked at several jobs and ultimately settled into my full-time gig as a stay-at-home mama.

Ultimately, I have found happiness. I have a wonderful little family. I seem to have my depressive issues under control. I'm getting better at balancing my family with my own interests: reading, reviewing books, writing, tabletop games, occasional video games.

So what will the next ten years hold? Who knows! I have no idea where we will be living a few years from now. I have no idea if the future will bring another baby for us. I don't know if I will ever fully commit to veganism. I don't know when I will ever hold a "real" job again.

Much is yet uncertain, but I am definitely looking forward to the coming years!

Ideas for Raising Veggie-Loving Kids

Are you one of the many parents out there who worries that their little one is a picky eater?

It seems to be a common refrain. My child just doesn't like vegetables. Or how about this? My son will only eat peas or carrots. Or maybe, The only way my daughter eats veggies is when I sneak them into her meals!

On the flip side, do you ever wonder about those parents who never seem to have that problem? Do you envy parents whose children can be seen digging into unusual cuisines with gusto? Debate how they convince their children to eat asparagus and kale and mushrooms? Maybe it's all luck; they just got a kid who is a "good eater," while you got stuck with one who thinks vegetables and unfamiliar foods are poison.

For the parents who wish there was some way they could gently encourage their children to eat better, take heart! There are steps you can take. None of these will guarantee that your children will turn from a vegetable-hater to a vegetable-lover overnight, but with enough time, they may help to turn the tide.

Eat them yourself.

In America, only about a quarter of adults eat vegetables three or more times per day, and it's recommended that we eat at least five to seven servings per day! Is it any wonder that our children aren't eating enough veggies, either? If you want them to eat more veggies, it is important that you lead by example. Try to have veggies with every meal, if possible (yes, including breakfast!). Make sure your children see you eating them and, perhaps more importantly, enjoying them; if you act like eating veggies is a necessary evil, your little ones are going to pick up on that. So do what it takes to make eating vegetables a positive, normal part of the day.

Start 'em young!

Sometimes, I can't help but wonder if the aversion that so many kids feel towards vegetables has roots in their early experiences with food. Think about it. What is the typical first experience with vegetables? Cooked and pureed carrots or peas or some other "early" veggie. Bland and boring, especially if it comes from a jar (at least when you make your own you can ensure that the produce is  at the peak of freshness and ripeness). The texture is nothing like that of the carrots they will eventually be expected to eat when they get older. The flavor is probably pretty different too; how often do you eat plain steamed or boiled carrots, no salt, no butter, no seasonings of any kind? (Well, I actually do sometimes, but that's besides the point; most people do not.)

Perhaps instead of feeding your little one baby food from a jar, or even making your own purees at home, you might consider taking a different approach. Have you ever heard of baby-led weaning? The most basic premise is that you let your little ones feed themselves from the get-go. This means suitably-sized chunks of foods, real foods, the foods you are eating yourself. No purees. No grains or "baby cereals," which babies under a year old generally can't digest properly anyway. (Did you know there's no scientific reason why purees should be first foods? The only real benefit of purees is that it allows you to easily feed your baby "real" foods... perhaps before your baby is physically ready for those foods.) Not only is baby-led weaning an easier, more natural approach to feeding your baby, but it has real benefits for baby too: baby learns to pay attention to his own hunger cues (if he's hungry, he'll keep eating; if he's not, he's not going to have you putting spoonfuls of mush into his mouth anyway), baby learns how to gum and eventually chew different sizes and textures, and baby gets a lot of practice with those fine motor skills.

Remember that baby-led weaning and spoon feeding are mutually exclusive; you can offer your little one chunks of avocado and pumpkin at one meal and then spoonfuls of applesauce at the next. (Maybe consider adding a dash of cinnamon to that applesauce! And don't feel like you need to buy "baby" applesauce, either; any standard brand of no-sugar-added applesauce is perfectly suitable for a baby who is old enough for solids.) The important thing is to expose baby early and often to a wide variety of produce from a young age. And don't shy away from just sharing part of your own dinner when appropriate!

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again... and again... and again...

Once children hit a certain age, it's pretty common for them to be resistant to trying new foods. There are reasons for this; from an evolutionary standpoint, being a "picky" eater may have once been beneficial to toddlers, keeping them from trying new (and potentially harmful) foods on their own, without a parent's input. Biologically, it's worth noting that younger babies taste bitter and sour flavors more strongly than adults though; they have a natural aversion to bitter or sour foods.

That being said, it's important to keep offering children new foods, even foods that have been soundly rejected in the past. You may need to offer a child a new food 10-15 times before they will eat it. Keep offering, and hopefully they will voluntarily try it (and enjoy it!) eventually.

Put them in creative places... 

There are so many ways to serve vegetables to your children than just as a side dish. And it can be really easy to add vegetables in foods you're eating all the time anyway in a way that doesn't mar the taste or texture of the final meal.

One example? Pasta sauce, specifically marinara sauce. If you make your own pasta sauce, it is really easy to add all kinds of vegetables to it and then blend the whole thing into a smooth sauce; try adding carrots or parsnips in with the onions and garlic, or a few chunks of cooked butternut squash (for a sweeter flavor overall). Shredded zucchini can be added either before or after blending. With enough time spent simmering, peeled eggplant practically melts into tomato sauce. Finely chopped spinach might leave behind little flecks of green but no awkward taste; other greens might leave a stronger flavor, but one that enhances the final sauce.

Do you see where you can take this? Pureed vegetables of all kinds can easily be baked into breads and muffins. Smoothies are a great place to add extra vegetables; add cooked winter squash, chunks of cooked beets, spinach, cucumber, or other vegetables to a big fruit smoothie and note that the overall taste doesn't really change. Many people add vegetables to meatloaf or meatballs, or even chicken nuggets or hamburgers (although as a vegetarian, I can't really comment on the effectiveness of that!). Add shredded carrots to the pan when making old fashioned or steel cut oats; if your children shy away from it at first, try simply re-branding it as "carrot cake oatmeal," and most kids will happily eat their entire bowl. (Do the same thing with waffles or pancakes, too!)

The point here is that there are a wide variety of different ways to fit vegetables into your child's diet (not to mention your own!). Why limit yourself to vegetables served on their own?

...But don't try to hide them.

I know a lot of parents who are absolutely dependent on this method. If the kids won't eat veggies, well, just sneak them into the foods they're already eating! Hide them in sweet things or blend them into the meatloaf! They'll never know the difference!

I may be over-analyzing here, but have you ever thought about what message you're sending your kids? Sure, they may not know right now that you've hidden spinach in their smoothie or zucchini in their muffins, but someday they will. And when they do realize it, on some unconscious level they may internalize this message: Vegetables aren't worth eating on their own. If they haven't been eating vegetables and enjoying them for what they are when they're young, they're probably not going to just suddenly doing so when they get older. Hiding vegetables does not teach kids to like vegetables, and it does not teach kids to eat healthy. On some unconscious level, they may believe vegetables don't taste good. Vegetables have a weird texture. Vegetables are not something to snack on, something to voluntarily put on your pizza, or one of the best side dishes at big holiday meals.

Wait a second, you say! What was that you were just saying about sticking veggies in pasta sauce and smoothies? Isn't that hiding them? Remember that while there is nothing wrong with using vegetables creatively, it benefits everyone when your family knows exactly what is in the foods you serve to them. Go ahead and toss a big handful of spinach into the smoothie before blending it; just make sure that you don't keep it a secret from your child. Someday, they may grow to think that all smoothies benefit from a healthy handful of greens!

On another note, am I the only one who feels like hiding veggies in regular foods is pretty close to lying to them? Lying by omission perhaps, but however you want to define it, it is being dishonest. And most parents want their kids to learn that any kind of dishonesty is not okay, no matter how well-meaning.

Involve them in cooking.

When a child helps to prepare a food, they're more likely to want to eat the finished meal. Get them invested in mealtime by getting them into the kitchen! For really young babies try starting with just bringing them into the kitchen while you're cooking - a safe distance away from anything dangerous, of course - and talking to them about the process. After they get good at gripping things, toddlers can start to get involved with the actual process of cooking. Bake things together; you can measure out ingredients and baby can dump them into the bowl, and then help with stirring. Let your child help you dump veggies in the pan (before you actually turn on the heat). By the age of 4 or 5, you can even let them help you with chopping up certain veggies; look for special knives for kids that don't easily cut skin. The older a child gets, the more involved they can be with cooking.

Another idea? Get your child's input when it comes to what you're making for dinner. Offer them a few choices, but let them actually select the meal. Or try exploring cookbooks together; let them look at the pictures and tell them about what the dish might taste like. If you do meal planning, let them help you select some of the foods you're making every week (within reason, of course!).

Look outside the grocery store.

There are so many places where you can get fresh produce other than at your neighborhood grocery store. And often, those other places will have produce that is fresher and tastes better, not to mention a wider variety. One great option is a farmers' market, where you will find a great variety of fresh fruits, veggies, and herbs, as well as other things like freshly baked breads, cheeses, eggs, and more. Did I mention that many vendors at farmers' markets offer free samples? Sometimes the mere fact that a taste of the food is free, and not being offered by mom, is enough to convince a child to try something.

Or maybe you could consider joining a CSA (community-supported agriculture) project. Most CSAs offer a box of fresh produce weekly or bi-weekly, delivered either to your door or to a convenient drop location. CSAs also offer a wide variety of produce, freshly-harvested, including more "normal" foods (expect a ton of zucchini in the summer months) as well as less common types (I've been a member of many CSAs over the years, and there are a lot of fruits and veggies I've tried for the first time because they were in my box that week). Kids love unpacking the box every week and seeing what's inside. Parents are determined to use everything and not let anything go to waste, while children are intrigued by exotic produce and (hopefully) want to sample it all.

Farm stands also have a lot to offer; sure, you have to drive to the farm, but you also know that everything was picked fresh. Or look for local u-pick farms, where you can harvest berries or apples or other produce; you have to pick it yourself, but the produce costs less than anything you can buy in a store and tastes much better. Plus, there's something about the process that just draws children in. Make a family event of it!

Let them pick them out something they want to try.

Have you ever tried letting your child pick out a veggie to go with dinner? Sometimes having a say in what's going to be on the table can make a big difference in whether or not a child is going to want to eat it. So consider involving your little ones in the meal planning; let them choose what veggies are going to be served with dinner. Or just go to the store and explore the produce aisles together. Maybe you can give some of the more unusual types of produce a try. Or maybe you can try the unusual varieties of "normal" produce. Even our local Albertson's carries purple and orange cauliflower; they taste the same as regular cauliflower, but the bright colors might be what it takes to encourage kids to give them a try.

Or start a garden and grow them yourself!

This is one area where I don't have much personal experience; I've always had a bit of a brown thumb, and we've lived in apartments since my son was born anyway. But recently, I picked up a "make your own pizza garden" kit from the store, and my son was absolutely enthralled. It's really just a tiny herb garden, featuring basil, oregano, and parsley, but he loved helping me dump soil in the pot, poking holes for the seeds, gently covering them up. He looks forward to watering it every day or two. He always wants to sit outside and watch things grow. And eventually, when those basil sprouts turn into bigger plants, we'll harvest some together and make a fine batch of pesto, and I have a feeling my son will just gobble it up.

Getting children involved in gardening has so many benefits. It gets them outside and sets them up for a great hobby. It gives them a great excuse to get dirty. It helps them to work on their patience, since plants take a long time to grow. And by helping to create the food, kids have a vested interest in eating the results. Don't be surprised if your budding gardener is much more likely to eat those veggies he helped nurture.

This post has been shared at the Healthy, Happy, Green, & Natural Party Blog Hop on 4/21/2015.